1 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:16,599 Dale, you've been staring at that Rolo lava cake for 20 minutes. 2 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,601 - This isn't a library. - I got it. 3 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:23,440 - Three packets, sugar in the raw. - That's how I like my sugar... raw. 4 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,861 This has been a wonderful plutonic exchange. 5 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,571 I will see you next week. 6 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,495 Come on. 7 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,003 Where are we going? Only weirdos live down here. 8 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,880 Just a little further. 9 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,799 Last one in's a rotten Skittle. 10 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,469 Whoo! 11 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:57,265 Wait, is it safe down here? 12 00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,477 - Why, are you afraid of tiny sharks? - Ahhh! 13 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:03,605 Mark! God, you jerk! 14 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,732 - Don't do that. - Ow! 15 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,734 - You okay? - Yeah. I just felt... 16 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:10,361 Allie! 17 00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:15,283 Oh, my God. Allie. 18 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,952 No, no! 19 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,250 KORVO: Everybody buckled in? 20 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,794 - You bet! - Shut the fuck up. 21 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,088 I have a brief kick ass speech to make. 22 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,672 The ship is repaired again, 23 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,259 and we are finally able to leave this M-class hellhole for good. 24 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,095 - Thank you. - We did this last year. 25 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,973 "Blah, blah, blah, Earth sucks, sci fi, sci-fi we're leaving." 26 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,642 Change the channel. This sucks. 27 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,895 This shit's happening. Aisha, activate pre-launch sequence now. 28 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:46,689 First off, who do you think you're talking to with that tone? 29 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,650 Second, activated. 30 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:51,111 Talking about "now". Bitch. 31 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,030 This is a momentous day for all of us, but mostly for me, 32 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,116 'cause I am mission leader and did all the work 33 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,076 while you guys totally shat the bed. 34 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,662 Launch aborted. Some crew are not on board. 35 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,957 What are you talking about? We're all buckled in and... Oh! 36 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,042 Yeah, Korvo! 37 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,336 Damn it. I always fall for the Talkboy. 38 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:13,133 Ha! You got Shawshanked, Ferris Bueller'd and Ghallagered. 39 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,428 Yeah. 40 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:18,930 Infinite Slip N Slide? 41 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,599 You know I can't launch the ship unless you guys are on. 42 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:25,270 No! My foot! It's dissolved into goo. Why don't you care? 43 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,730 Look at me. Stop having fun. I'm melting. 44 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,567 This is what we're doing today, figuring this out. Stop! 45 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:35,488 KORVO: Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia until the asteroid hit. 46 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,241 One hundred adults and their replicants 47 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,952 were issued a Pupa and escaped into the space, 48 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,413 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds. 49 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,875 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet. 50 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,459 That's right, I've been talking this whole time. 51 00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:49,919 I'm the one holding the Pupa. 52 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,504 My name's Korvo. This is my show. 53 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,464 I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me? 54 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,342 This is ridiculous. I hate Earth! It's a horrible home. 55 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,760 People are stupid and confusing. 56 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,054 They're always ordering these complicated coffee drinks. 57 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,223 Why would you ever have coffee when you could just ingest 58 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,309 a room temperature tan colored energon cone? 59 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,269 Don't talk to me until I've had my tan cone. 60 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,819 Do you want me to drain your bucket? 61 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,196 That's still me in there. 62 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,990 - And yes, I know it smells like shit. - Hi. Sorry for the wait. 63 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,951 Prom season. Tons of abortions today. Busy, busy, busy. 64 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,703 Before I give you our diagnosis, 65 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,289 are you certain you don't have any alien technology 66 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,082 that's better to evaluate this? 67 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,085 We decided to change it up. We go to the ship with problems a lot. 68 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,253 A lot. 69 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,297 Well, they don't exactly teach alien goo 70 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,382 in medical school, but I found some articles 71 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,468 about dog herpes that seemed to line up. 72 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,137 Korvo, you have what we call Alpha DNA. 73 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,849 The building blocks of your cells have receptors that are only activated 74 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,935 if the pack are fulfilling their roles. 75 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,646 - Wait, are we the pack? - That doesn't sound right. 76 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,398 Once your team's failure continues long enough, 77 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,193 the receptors decay, triggering a "goo sequence" 78 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:59,656 designed to kill you so the next dog or alien in line can take over. 79 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,492 - Isn't that funny. - You lazy idiots are killing me. 80 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,910 Luckily, it's reversible, 81 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,914 but only if these dummies do their respective jobs in a serious way. 82 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,249 What! I can't rely on them. 83 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,292 Fuck that, fill me with chemo. I want the chemo. 84 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,462 They really don't like us to throw chemo at family issues. 85 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,924 Okay, I got you set up on the couch here with plenty of fluids, 86 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,052 - root beer, Sunny D and piss. - Is the piss hot? 87 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:24,681 - I want hot piss. - Gonna get this good and tight, 88 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,891 so none of your stinky goo drips out. 89 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:30,353 Don't think of it as a trash bag. It's more of a whole body diaper. 90 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:33,773 I know why you fucks are being nice. You feel bad. Shove it. 91 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,234 Your guilty feelings can't solidify my legs. 92 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,654 I know this is very unlike me, 93 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:42,448 but I'm feeling guilty over melting Korvo with my laziness. 94 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,533 Yeah, me too. 95 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,785 Maybe we should just do some mission stuff, 96 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,662 just like enough so he can get better. 97 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,123 To piggyback off your pitch with a slight twist, 98 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,917 what if we let Korvo melt but also did whatever we wanted? 99 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:56,170 See, what I like about that is then we wouldn't have to do our jobs. 100 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,338 Great collab. Terry. 101 00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,300 Guys, we are not letting Korvo turn to goo. 102 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,176 We should at least put him out of his misery. 103 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,762 Can someone please refill my piss? 104 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,056 We can't kill Korvo. Who'd wash my t-shirts? 105 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,892 He does buy all the groceries and hide all the bodies. 106 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,020 Crap, without him, we'd have to do the chores. 107 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,730 Let's just do our mission roles more, 108 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,648 but only enough to not have to take out the trash. 109 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,483 - Easy peasy. - We've got this. 110 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:20,403 Do you two even know what your mission roles are? 111 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,946 - Zero fucking clue. - No. 112 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,782 Aisha, please explain to the replicants what their mission roles are. 113 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,285 And you know what? Let's just run through mine, too, for fun. 114 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,494 In detail, por favor. 115 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,538 Should I just play the orientation crystals? 116 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,123 Orientation crystals? 117 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:34,584 Sounds like some shit we should've watched already. 118 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,754 They were meant to be viewed daily. Dumbass. 119 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,390 In these first moments of your mission, remember what is at stake. 120 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,352 - Shlorp is depending on your... - Boring, boring, boring. 121 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:54,937 Yumyulack, Protector and head of security. 122 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,190 You ward off any threats to the mission. 123 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,109 Strong and fierce, willing to die so the team can live. 124 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,403 Let's put "willing to die" down as a maybe. 125 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,072 Jesse, the Chronicler. Be observant. 126 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,742 Record your adventures with clarity, both in triumph and defeat 127 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,370 so future Shlorpians learn from your mistakes. 128 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,706 I'm like the JK Rowling of this pack. Crucio! 129 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,625 Terry, your job is most important. 130 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,294 Because the Pupa will grow up to terraform your new planet, 131 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,504 you must nurture him. 132 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,131 For, as the Pupa specialist, he is your responsibility. 133 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,759 Hold the fuck on. I'm supposed to be taking care of the Pupa? 134 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,720 - Korvo says that all the time, Terry. - This isn't news. 135 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:30,640 I'm not ready to raise a Pupa. I'm still finding myself. 136 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,225 I want to go to Cabo, damn it. 137 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,268 You want some crackers to go with your wine? 138 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:37,230 Being responsible is scary, but it's time to grow up 139 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,149 and start working on the mission. For Korvo! 140 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,317 BOTH: For Korvo! 141 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,989 - What the hell are you doing? - Shit! We forgot about the Korvo thing. 142 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,700 Earth is too distracting. We can't do our jobs here, 143 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,661 with all the trap queens in need of hyping. 144 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,913 I've got to park that big Mack truck right in that little garage. 145 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:57,166 If we're going to focus, we've got to do it on a new planet. 146 00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,628 Good. Aisha, initiate the pre-launch before these idiots change their minds. 147 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:04,006 - Fine. The shit is initiated. - Launch time, baby. 148 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,551 - Not all the crew is accounted for. - Fuckers! 149 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,678 Wait, but everyone's here. 150 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:12,807 All crew means all body parts that got severed and left around town. 151 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,434 - Wait. What? - Go get your dick. 152 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,269 Anyone been leaving body parts around? 153 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,521 I mean, yeah. I live a full and rich life. 154 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:22,525 You think my calendar's so open I can just pick up my own body parts all day? 155 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,609 Wrong. 156 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,486 Don't look at me. I keep my shit tonight. 157 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,072 Activate the Shlorpian Extremity Triangulator. 158 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:33,494 It scans the planet for Shlorpian flesh. Creepy, but perfect for this moment. 159 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,746 I'm clean, all my pieces are on the ship. 160 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,209 You've been dropping your limbs all over the place. 161 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,377 Five at Home Depot? 162 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,963 That must have been from the summer I tried to be a MythBuster. 163 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,175 Those two ginger mummies didn't leave any myths for the rest of us. 164 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,136 You're supposed to be chronicling not busting popular myths. 165 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,430 - Oh! My favorite hand. - We've got to get these body parts 166 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,349 before Korvo is goo for good or we'll have to learn how to do taxes. 167 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:56,559 It's hella complicated. 168 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,561 Good luck figuring out the depreciation value 169 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,938 of time traveling sneakers you only use for business. 170 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,483 Are we just going to leave the Pupa behind, Terry? 171 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,734 He can't get out of the Pupa seat. 172 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,528 And even if he could, he'd never stray from his puffs. 173 00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:24,462 RECORDED VOICE: The cow says... 174 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:55,743 Eddie! Ooh, you're home early. 175 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:58,120 Katie. Baby, Kiss me. 176 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,291 Get in here. 177 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,962 I still can't believe it was one year ago 178 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:09,173 to the day you got down on your knee and gave this to me. 179 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,092 Remember? It was our second date. 180 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,510 I thought you were crazy. 181 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,720 I am. Crazy. For you. 182 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,640 I swore I would never go out with someone who worked for my dad. 183 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,726 But you're not like his other employees. You're, you're different. 184 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:21,978 Ooh, how'd the sales trip go? 185 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:25,106 - Crushed it. Crushed it. - Daddy will love that. 186 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,818 Means he won't see it coming when we rob him blind. 187 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,160 All right people, I'm gooing pretty bad. 188 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,996 So let's get these limbs and get back to the business 189 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,039 of leaving this shithole planet. 190 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,045 Bad ice. 191 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,214 Don't ask me how it got there. 192 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,633 Ask them why they never cleaned it. 193 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,557 Hey, my ball... Back scratcher. 194 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,017 Suck it, Cooke. 195 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:10,401 - You did the right thing, - So everyone got their body parts? 196 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,529 Almost. We just have to go to the Windy City to pick up the last two. 197 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,197 You went to Chicago and didn't invite me? 198 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,866 You know how much I like the Schaumberg outlets. 199 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:20,620 Last time we wasted all our time waiting for you at the Hammacher Sclemmer. 200 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,456 Me and Yumyulack have been commuting to Chi-town 201 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,666 to practice with the Chicago Pro Tumblers. 202 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,044 They're a legendary acrobatic halftime show. 203 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,462 I do it to help me stay agile. 204 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,213 Plus, we get to hang with Pippen when he's around. 205 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,467 He took a tough tumble into each other, last practice and knocked 206 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,885 our tushes clean off. 207 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,345 Ooh, there they are. 208 00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,764 Guys, Jesse and Yumyulack are back. 209 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,266 What's up, Emily? 210 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,726 Alyssa, how you been? 211 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:46,646 No, Josh and Sophia, what happened? 212 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,814 We snapped ankles warming up for the semi-regional 213 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,483 halftime show championships. 214 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,901 - What? - But that's today. 215 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,779 You and Yummy have to sub in to do the final team tumble. 216 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,322 No, thanks, we're in a time crunch. 217 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,616 MAN OVER PA: Chicago Pro Tumblers to the floor. 218 00:10:58,616 --> 00:10:59,992 What are you... Don't you put that, 219 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,786 don't you put on that sweet tumbling gear. 220 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,579 Drop those knee socks right now, mister. 221 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,623 - Hey, I can see you. - When Tumbling calls, 222 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,999 you accept the charges. 223 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,209 Get back here! 224 00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:09,460 I kind of want to see it. 225 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,646 This stupid bullshit really meant a lot to you two, didn't it? 226 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,524 It's the most satisfying thing I've done in my life. 227 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,693 Okay, well, then I'm glad we did it, I guess. 228 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,070 - I still wish I wasn't turning into goo. - Terry, your turn. 229 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,489 What Turn? Like I said, I keep my ship tonight. 230 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,324 Don't insult me. I'm not a replicant. 231 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,909 Wow, yes, that's a lot of arms. 232 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:45,454 Dozens tightly clustered over the ocean. Terry, you stinky shit! 233 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,498 - Did you feed your arms to a whale? - No. 234 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,501 No. What did I do? 235 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:53,254 - Gladwell. - What's a Gladwell? 236 00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:57,133 Pop sociologist Malcolm Gladwell, We've been ripping and tearing ass 237 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,884 on the reg for a while now and every morning 238 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,928 I would chew my arm off rather than wake him up. 239 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:03,597 Because if I did, we would be chatting about the human condition all morning. 240 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:04,682 The guy won't shut up. 241 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,893 My arms are somewhere aboard his private non-fiction yacht, The Shipping Point. 242 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,187 It's an intellectual cruise experience he runs for his fans. 243 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,857 How would we ever have gotten all that from you just saying, Gladwell? 244 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,525 Don't be jealous, Korvo. It doesn't look good. 245 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:17,528 I'm not. A sexual relationship with an award winning author? 246 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,947 I'm impressed. Best I could swing was a hand job 247 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,866 from the two guys who keep track of all the horse names 248 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,576 for George R.R. Martin. 249 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,078 KATIE: Baby, but what about the plan? 250 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:29,081 We were going to wait until that prick promotes you and then fleece him. 251 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,501 - Tomorrow. Tomorrow. No argue. - The last flight to Mexico. 252 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,878 So you have to talk to Daddy today. 253 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,588 Be careful. He has powerful friends, baby. 254 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,047 You got to play this perfectly. 255 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,216 Relax, Relax. It's me. 256 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,970 God, it'll all be worth it once we're in Zihuantanejo. 257 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,055 Take me again. 258 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,017 God, I love your body so much. 259 00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:00,279 Excuse us. We're G-O-G, Guests of Gladwell. 260 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:03,157 - Terry. Should be on your book there. - Terrence. You look great. 261 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:04,241 Love the shirt. 262 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,243 - Is that lambswool? - Glady. 263 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:08,788 You're looking observant as always. 264 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,165 I see you've brought your family. How lovely. 265 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,584 - Mr. Gladwell... - Stop. Just Gladwell. 266 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:16,212 Gladwell, would you sign my 10,000 hours ray? 267 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,924 It simulates studying for 10,000 hours, your Outliers book inspired me. 268 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,551 My key insight was that if you spend a lot of time 269 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,387 on something you can get good at it. Seems like common knowledge now, 270 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,640 but at the time, it was unheard of. 271 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,268 Yeah, genius Gladwell. So listen, there's a reason we're here. 272 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,312 Let me guess. Terrence needs his arms back. 273 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,438 Damn, he's good. 274 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,273 Let's run up to my penthouse and get them. 275 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,692 In the meantime, do the rest of you want VIP tickets 276 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,361 to see our in-cruise show, Malcolm Dragwell? 277 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:43,322 It's drag queens lip syncing to audio recordings of my book. 278 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,408 Cool! You guys do that and I'll be right back with my arms. 279 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,493 Enjoy the show. 280 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,957 Do you remember that hot air balloon over Portugal? 281 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,544 We made that basket so hot that the balloon rose an extra 100 feet. 282 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,129 Yes. The summer we screwed in every type of dirigible. 283 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,048 Remember when you had me on that zeppelin? 284 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,595 I am so nervous to meet a Malcolm Dragwell Queen. 285 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,597 I'm not dressed for royalty. 286 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,599 I find it hard to believe there's enough Gladwell demand 287 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,434 to justify a whole Stan culture. 288 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,894 I hope there's stuff from Blink in the show. 289 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:14,979 I love that book. 290 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:18,148 It's about how sometimes we just know stuff without having to think or learn. 291 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,400 I feel that way constantly. 292 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,902 Pour me a drink while I look for your arms. 293 00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,071 Make one for yourself, too. 294 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,284 Ah, been a hell of a day. I don't know if you could tell, but Korvo is melting. 295 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,620 - He's sensitive about it. - My God. Come, tell me. 296 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,039 Hey, hey, hey. No traps. 297 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,708 I'm not having a drink or sitting on the bed. 298 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,127 Just give me my... Your hair is looking zanier than normal. 299 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,920 Are you styling it different? It's cute. 300 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,840 Still just rubbing a balloon on it after showering. 301 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,593 What? That's not hair. Those are my arms. 302 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,636 - What did you do? - You like them to rot. 303 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,307 I gave them purpose. I gave them life. They've been writing my books. 304 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,851 Sadly, I've had them so busy scribbling 305 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,769 they've fused into some kind of rat king. 306 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,062 That's straight up gross. 307 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,273 Now, they're more creative than ever before. 308 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,942 My latest bestseller, Thou Who Smelt It Dealt It 309 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,319 was their idea. 310 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,571 You can't force my arms to write their own fart ideas. 311 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,031 I already have. 312 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:10,326 David Remnick interviewed me an hour ago. Grab him. 313 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,413 Is this the way to the VIP room? 314 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,290 I'll have a rum and diet to start, please. 315 00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:19,126 Shit! They're going to throw us into the ocean. 316 00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,212 I'm going to get diluted and excreted through a million disgusting squids. 317 00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,173 Did Gladwell sign off on this? 318 00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:35,559 This is how we do it in Chi-raq, biatch! 319 00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:39,813 Here. 320 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,031 Yeah, bitch. Slip on my stinky goo and drop to your death. 321 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,116 Now scoop me up into the backpack. 322 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,703 Sales. Always. Big, Big growth. 323 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,122 Profits, up. Money, yes, yes. 324 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,920 Damn, Eddie. How is it that you're never in the office 325 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,381 and you just crushed my Q2 sales record? 326 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,216 Get on my level. Bro. 327 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:11,011 All right, boys, back to work. Eddie, stick around for a second. 328 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,014 Now you listen to me, you son of a bitch. 329 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,893 You might have everyone else fooled, but I have been onto you since day one. 330 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,603 I knew there was something off about you. 331 00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,146 I couldn't put my finger on it. 332 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,732 But you messed up when you made a move on my daughter. 333 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,152 I did a background check on you, Eddie. You know what I found? 334 00:16:27,736 --> 00:16:29,822 Nothing. You are who you say you are. 335 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,991 But that doesn't change how I feel in my gut. 336 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:36,120 And the only thing I love more than profits is that little girl of mine. 337 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,873 So, I'm writing you a check for $10,000,000. It's a bribe. 338 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,125 Get out of Katie's life. 339 00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:45,170 Then what do you want? What's your price? 340 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,218 Are you out of your fucking mind? 341 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,451 - Ow! Ow! - Stop hitting yourself, Terrence. 342 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,952 - Cheap joke, Gladwell. - Yes. 343 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,621 But it was right there and I think I made my point. 344 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,875 Your arms obey me now. I say hit you, they hit. 345 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,753 I say write a book, they type up cherry picked anecdotes 346 00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,880 to support my nursery school wisdom. 347 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,175 I'll give you one last chance. Live with me on the open seas. 348 00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:34,386 We'll make love while your arms write my TED Talks. A perfect life. 349 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,805 If it were up to me, I'd tap that curly shit all day. 350 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,223 But I've already got a team. 351 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,976 Pity. Consider your point tipped. 352 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:45,981 No. Terry's arms formed a rat king and they've sided with Gladwell. 353 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,232 How did you gather that so fast? 354 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,861 Because I'm young and adulthood hasn't atrophied my imagination. 355 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,826 Stop it. Stop it, Terry's arms. 356 00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,204 Korvo, his arms. They're listening to you. 357 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,581 I'm their mission leader. It's their biological imperative. 358 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:06,085 - Terry's arms. Stop being dicks. - No, Terry's arms. I'm your leader now. 359 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,337 I'm the one who lets you grease me up before bedtime. 360 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,756 You've never done anything right in your shoulder-girdled lives. 361 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,217 You're worthless. But you can change that right now. 362 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,885 Come home with us, Terry's arms. 363 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,429 - Come home. - No, my career will be over. 364 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,890 Without Terry's arms, all I'll be able to write 365 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,141 is the erotic Luigi's Mansion fan-fic 366 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,394 that comes to me so naturally. I can't go back to that. 367 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:27,147 I won't go back to that. 368 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,566 - Hey, Gladwell. I'm Yumyulack. - So? 369 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:33,487 I'm head of mission security so consider your dumb ass secured. 370 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,408 - What did you do to him? - He's 10,000 hours stupider. 371 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:41,745 I'm going to go write a novel about video games and '80's movies. 372 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:42,830 He'll land on his feet. 373 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,791 Oh, man, I wish I had feet. I'm feeling pretty shitty. 374 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,000 Korvo! 375 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,507 Almost home, buddy. Think solid. Stay solid. 376 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,848 Who was that psycho? 377 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,868 Hey. Ahhh! 378 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,754 Aisha, launch the ship. 379 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,049 AISHA: All crew members present. Launch activated. 380 00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,387 We're doing it. We're actually leaving! 381 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:47,311 No, no, no, no, no, no. No! 382 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,188 KORVO: No! 383 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,857 - What happened? - All ship systems have been compromised 384 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,109 by the heavy levels of iron in these puffs. 385 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,777 Where did they all come from? 386 00:19:56,945 --> 00:20:00,741 I guess it was me? I only remember packing a couple 387 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,659 so the Pupa could have favorite snacks for the trip. 388 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,912 You were trying to be a better Pupa specialist. 389 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,288 We can clean this up, Korvo. 390 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,749 You can talk us through the repairs. 391 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,751 Please, I just started chronicling 392 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,629 and I don't want this to be how my first journal entry ends. 393 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:14,838 Yeah, we can still save you. 394 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,924 No, the puffs have destroyed the circuits. 395 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,091 The damage is too severe. 396 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,676 You'll have to stay on Earth permanently. 397 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,304 - What about you? - I'm afraid it's time for me to goo. 398 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:25,641 I'm sorry I failed you all as leader. Today, I realized that each of you 399 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,185 has been fulfilling your mission roles in convoluted ways 400 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,480 because I hadn't created an environment where my team could thrive. 401 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,148 I should have set down roots on Earth, 402 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,985 found a work life balance instead of repairing the doggone ship all the time. 403 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,071 - Korvo. - Goodbye, big guy. 404 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:42,324 All right, go enjoy your Slip N Slide and leave me to turn into goo. 405 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,493 That's my final order as mission leader. 406 00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:48,330 AISHA: Damn Korvo. 407 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,999 That's a lot of emotional growth. 408 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,336 And, you know, I could vacuum up this puff dust in like, two minutes. 409 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:57,089 - Yes, I am well aware. - So why you lie? 410 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,466 Being on Earth is what's best for my team 411 00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,051 even if it's what's worst for me. 412 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,345 Did you see that? I grew a leg. 413 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,222 Holy shit. Another, another leg. 414 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:08,267 My sacrifice. I was team leader and my team worked together. 415 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,435 - I'm regaining my form. - It's fucking gross. 416 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,979 Can you do it somewhere else? 417 00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:14,439 Guys! Guys, get up here and help me. I'm getting my body back. 418 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,358 Little help up here. 419 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,694 Hello? Stop leaving me to die. 420 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,862 I'm not dying anymore. I'm thirsty for piss. 421 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:24,366 Ah, finally, back to normal. Feels good to not be goo anymore. 422 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,369 And did you mean it, Korvo, that you're going to put down some roots this year? 423 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:29,746 Yes. If the options are turning into a sack of slime 424 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,749 or learning how to like Earth, then I guess I'll have to give it a try. 425 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,335 Sounds like the Solar Opposites are going to be having some fun this year. 426 00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:38,714 And the fun will begin right now as we watch all the Tom Clancy movies 427 00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,424 in order, starting with The Hunt For Red October. 428 00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,759 What? No. Those are grown up movies. Can't we watch John Wick? 429 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,761 No! I'm setting down roots the way I want. 430 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,888 And that means Jack Ryan and courtroom dramas. 431 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,599 Sorry, back up. Which Jack Wick movie are we watching? 432 00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:51,310 It's Jack Ryan, dummy. Keep up. 433 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,228 Is this going to be happening all the time now, Jesse? 434 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,147 You know, I hate repeating myself. 435 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,316 My hand's cramping. 436 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,650 Well, why don't you use that Tuckboy 437 00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,445 you're so keen on tricking me with and transcribe it later? 438 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:10,787 I must say, Pupa. Nothing like a purple puff. 439 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,165 So her old man went for the bargain, just like we thought. 440 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,249 Yummy. 441 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,543 You're a cold hearted son of a bitch, Pupa. 442 00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:17,794 Who's our next target? 443 00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:21,715 The heir to the Popchips fortune? Hell, yes. Let's fucking go! 444 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,928 Ma'am, that was final boarding. I have to close the door. 445 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,848 No! You can't. My fiancé's coming. 446 00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,558 I know he is. 447 00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:34,227 Yeah. Let me take you to our section for people who were stood up 448 00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:35,395 by their loved ones.